game on
by a beautiful catastrophe
Summary: I do admit I have a bit of a James Potter fetish, Sirius. His hair is sexy, and he plays Quidditch. I'm sure Lily wouldn't mind if I borrowed him for a few years. / Sirius receives and sends letters from and to Marlene.


Dear Marlene,

I would like to eat you.

Sirius.

* * *

_Dear Sirius,_

_What the hell? What poor excuse of a sentence is that? Seriously. No pun intended._

_Marlene._

* * *

Dear Marlene,

You're mean. I spent five minutes composing that sentence.

Sirius.

* * *

_Dear Sirius,_

_Please grow up, and stop being an immature twat for once._

_Marlene._

* * *

Dear Marlene,

Sweetheart, I know you (un)secretly love me. Don't deny it.

Sirius, the guy you fell in love with.

* * *

_Black,_

_You're a jerk._

_McKinnon, who isn't in love with you._

* * *

Marly, dearest,

Love, admit it already. If you don't love/fancy the hell out of me, why would you stare at me for nearly the whole of Transfig? Nearly, being until you got caught by Minnie.

Sirius, who is sure you have some sort of love for him.

* * *

_Oi, don't call me that. Black, you git, I wasn't staring at you._

_I was staring at the guy sitting next to you. McGonagall misinterpreted who I was staring at._

_McKinnon._

* * *

Marly,

Please don't tell me you like that conceited mate of mine (who likes Lily-flower, so there's no way you're going to get him to fall in love with him. Also, I'm single).

Sirius.

* * *

_I do admit I have a bit of a James Potter fetish. His hair is sexy, and he plays Quidditch. Also, I'm well informed you're single._

_I'm sure Lily wouldn't mind if I borrowed him for a few years._

* * *

Marlene,

I have sexy hair and play Quidditch too, thank you very much! And yikes. Marlene Potter sounds terrible. Tell me you're joking.

Sirius.

* * *

_Black,_

_Hate to break it to you, beauty queen, but your hair looks like a dragon flew over your head and did its business on it. Also, Jamie's just plain out hotter than you. Marlene Potter sounds beautiful! I don't know why you're bagging the name, Marlene Potter (which is gorgeous) but you should stop. You're just jealous._

_James and I should name our child after Lily (and not you because you're an arrogant berk). Listen to it - Lily Potter! How pretty is that! She'd have my golden curls and Jamie's gorgeous hazel eyes, and she'd look so adorable._

_McKinnon._

* * *

Lenie,

My hair does not look like a dragon did its business on it, nor is Prongs hotter than me. Ask any of the girls apart from you and Lily, and they'd agree! Marlene Potter is the epitome of horrible names. Please excuse me while I vomit. Thank you.

I'm not jealous, period. I'm Sirius Black and I don't get jealous.

Please don't discuss your and Prongsie's imaginary child with me, I don't want to know how good the sex before it was. Also, Lily Potter sounds good because Evans should get married to Prongs.

Sirius.

* * *

_Lenie, Black? What kind of a name is that? Don't call me Lenie either!_

_All of the girls apart from Lily and I (and Alice, Hestia and Emmeline) are these supposed "fangirls" of yours. They're life goal is to get your autograph/stalk you._

_Marlene Potter is a perfect name, now shut up._

_Oh, really? Sirius Black gets jealous all the time (ahem, whenever I get a new boyfriend. I can tell because you glare at them all day long and try to beat the crap out of them when I'm not in the room)._

_Lily Potter does sound great, okay, fine I'll admit that James and Lily (Evans) would be great together. Damn. Now I have no guy to hopelessly pine over._

_McKinnon._

* * *

So you don't like being called Lenie or Marly. You didn't say no to Marls, so I'll call you that, okay?

You flatter me, darling.

Eh, you already admitted that Lily-flower is better suited for Prongs, so tough luck.

I don't get jealous! I'm just trying to send a message to you saying that your taste in guys is horrible. Diggory? Fenwick? Moony? Honestly. On the other hand, I'm always there, sexy as usual...

Babe, you have me.

Sirius.

* * *

_No. Stop with the nicknames, Black. Just please, call me McKinnon. And when desperate times call for desperate measures, Marlene._

_Whatever._

_Shut up. I still think James is hot regardless._

_Remus is supposed to be your friend, idiot. If you really think you're that good looking, become asexual and go have sex with yourself._

_Ew._

_McKinnon._

* * *

Marlene, I have a funny feeling I'm not becoming asexual any time soon.

Sirius.

* * *

_Black, I have an idea. How about, I'll hook up with James, who ditches me for Lily. Then I'll cry my heart out and have rebound sex with you. Better be good rebound sex, though._

_Marlene._

* * *

Okay, I like the idea of that. Hurry up and start dating Prongs so we can go and shag each other senseless.

Sirius.

* * *

_Fine. But you know this whole thing is going to happen when pigs fly?_

_Marlene._

* * *

Whatever you say, dearest. It will happen.

Sirius.

* * *

Sirius tied his note to his owl, Ares, and watched as he flew away, out the opened window. He smiled, as soon enough, Ares returned with Marlene's owl, Athena, holding a message of her own.

He gently untied Marlene's message from Athena's leg, and it said only two words: _game on._

He laughed. Life was good.


End file.
